Surrender

There is just one quick thing I want to bring to your attention.

Or rather to share with you. 

I've had an awaking of sorts, a epiphany if you will. 

Now I am a Christian. I believe in God, his son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost.

I don't necessarily believe that we all have a destiny. 

I do not believe that our lives are set in the stars.

But I do like to entertain these thoughts. 

I love to look up my horoscope and see what is in store for me!

Im a Sagittarius  

In 'A Knights Tale' Williams asks his father if he can change his stars.

I believe you can. 

Your life is what you make of it. 

You decide your destiny. 

Now like I said before, I love to play with the idea of fate.

I mean you control your life yes, but really in the 'End' I think God knew you'd make it to where you did. 

That was where you were supposed to be. 

There are no "If only I could have done this..." or "It was supposed to be better..."

No. There is only one place we are gunna end up.

So play along with me. 

Lets play with 'Fate'.

Now if you will, hear me out on this.

In life how many decisions do we face a day?

Experts say up to 35,000 at least a day, most being rather simple.

My good friend, Master Oogway once said, 

"Quit, don't quit? Noodles, don't noodles? You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the 'present.'"

And he is totally right! 

Live for the day! 

Seize the moment! 

Don't sweat the small stuff.

And as for those decisions that aren't so easy and require better judgement,

Don't waste your time thinking about the 'what ifs'.

This is where I'm going with all this build up.

I want you to take a coin. 

I don't care what kind, but lets go with a quarter.

Carry this quarter with you everywhere you go.

This is not to be spent.

It is to be used to help guide you to your 'destiny'

Any time you come to a crossroad in your day and you are faced with a choice.

Should I or should I not?

I want you to reach inside your pocket and pull out your mighty quarter of destiny.

take the opposing choices, give them a side of the coin and then give it a toss...

and no matter what, Whichever face it lands on, do it.

Surrender yourself to the hands of fate, to destiny's desire.

http://www.youtube.com/user/SlideshowArt#p/u/5/6-r3JsXfSg0

Watch this video...I think you'll get what I'm desperately trying to say. 

Waiting Game

Waiting is hard work!

Joseph B. Wirthlin once said,

"Sometimes the hardest thing we can do is wait. The Lord has his own timetable, and although it may frustrate us, his timing is always perfect."

It seems we are always waiting for something. Waiting for the bell to ring to let out class, waiting for the week to slip swiftly into the weekend, waiting for your ride to pick you up, waiting for your sister to hustle up and free the bathroom (I mean can't you do your make up in your room or something?) Sometimes we are waiting to hear from loved ones, sometimes we are waiting for them to come back home.

Sometimes we wish we could wait a little longer. We pray earnestly while we wait to hear back from a doctor. Or when you didn't quite make it to the bathroom on time, if only you could've held it a little longer, or maybe that is just me.

This last month has been driving me absolutely out of my mind! Waiting has never been more of a challenge. Now usually this time of year the only thing anyone is waiting for is for Christmas to hurry up and get here already! And it also happens to be my birthday this month as well! But I couldn't care less about both of those things right now. they could wait another two months as long as that made what I'm waiting for come sooner!

What is it that I'm waiting for you ask? Haven't you heard yet?

I'm waiting for my mission call to come in the mail! Everyday grows further and further from the day it was supposed to come. Everyday becomes more and more torturous! I wake up thinking to my self "today is the day" I go to work and wait for that phone in my pocket to ring out, and the voice on the other end will say those three words! "Its finally here!"

But I'm getting used to disappointment. Last week Thursday was the two week deadline, the day it was supposed to come. There was no phone call at work, but my family was probably didn't want me to have to suffer through work knowing it was here but I couldn't open it until I got home. But then, on the car ride home, my phone lit up. a sign that said I had missed a call during the day and more importantly a TEXT! from my sister.

"Where are you?"

"on my way home.."

"oh ok"

.......

That was it! Nothing else! My heart was racing! I was almost sweating with nervousness. "Today is the day!" I thought to myself over and over as the car took me home through the icy streets. I jumped out and thanked my driver as I ran to the door. As I walked in I glanced to my the floor on my right, where the mail usually sits under the chute. Nothing. My eyes snapped to the counter, the second place mail usually sits. Some flyers and small envelopes, nothing big enough to be my call but the mail HAD come! But did it bring with it my call?

My Mom made her way up the stair to the kitchen where I was, talking on the phone, the usual.

"Oh I gotta go, Reids home!" she said as she hangs up and smiles at me.

..... "wait for it" I say to myself

She just stays there smiling at me, waiting for me to say something. She obviously wasn't gunna spill the beans, so I run-I mean cooly walk to my room. I gently shut the door then franticly scurry around searching everywhere for that envelope. Under the pillow, on the dresser, in the closet, under the mattress. Nothing, Nowhere! I slunk to my floor as it all set it. It wasn't here. Today was most definitely not the day!

That happened about a week ago and here I am doing the same thing everyday. Waiting. Sometimes more patiently than others but waiting all the same.

"... His timing is always perfect... instead of worrying or grumbling that our prayers have gone unanswered, we should delight ourselves in the Lord. Be grateful. Be happy."

Yeah Boy

Yessir This Is Happening!

I am posting pictures of me planking!

Yeah we are awesome I know :P

Its actually more fun than it looks!

and really the photos aren't even that funny or anything but going out and planking is what is fun! I know you're all secretly jealous! Get out thurr and Plank! BOY!!

Knock You Down

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!

Its been a long week. I started a new job framing houses and this week we were building a roof. If you know Alberta weather you know that it is windy nine times out of nine, and having to hold huge 10 foot tall by 20-30 feet wide trusses(like rafters) while balancing on a 2x4 that is sitting 12 feet off the ground, is no easy task! In fact it wears you right out! so for the past week I've been beat up by the wind and have been waking up way to early. I'm tired. I'm physically drained of all my energy. And to top it all off, I hammered my finger and it hurts like the dickens! I can hardly keep my eyes open and I can't focus my mind at all! My brother who lives out of town came to visit which is great! the only down side is I never see him until late when I get off work and by then I just go to bed and have to listen to his three kids cry as he tries to get them to bed, and when they cry, THEY CRY!!!!! I'm talking high pitch screeches and hour long tantrums! And I just realized I haven't ate a real meal in the past three days. So things aren't really going my way. Why write about it then right? Why waste my time plus your time telling you about what a sucky week I've been having, everyone has a bad week once in a while! So who cares? Well you're right! except there is one important thing I forgot to mention about my week.

Amongst all of this turmoil and havoc I was able to accomplish a very important task this week. I submitted my application papers for my mission! And you know what? this week has been a great week for me! I haven't been angry or upset, I haven't felt sad at all. This week has been a great week! "But Reid, what about all that crap you said before?" I'm gunna come right out and say it was worth it! Do you really think I'd let something as silly as the need for more sleep or a bruised finger and a swollen thumb get me down? Well then you don't know me very well because i and no quitter during the hard times. I keep my chin up and I keep on smiling! I always look for the good in all things that come my way. Nothing is ever too big for us to accomplish. No task to demanding, no problem to hard. I believe and know with out a doubt, that our Lord who is our Father in Heaven loves each and every one of us. And what loving father would ever ask something impossible of his children? So yeah, we whine and complain about life thats okay. As long as we never let the world get the best of us. Never let those winds blow you off the roof top. Just hold on tight and plant your feet on a sure foundation and I can guarantee you, no wind could even bring you down.

Happy Thanksgiving

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!...Or is it?!?!?

Well of course it is. There can never be anything wrong with stuffing smothered in thick gravy. The aroma that fills the air as the turkey or in this years case the turkey and two chickens cook in the oven! That part makes this years thanksgiving a success. What wasn't so great about the whole event, or what I should say, what was lacking from the evening and holiday was the family part...and the holiday part! let me explain:

Saturday October 8, 2011

I make my way to work by 8 in the morning. I'm the only one on for the weekend besides the lady who runs the till and club house (I'm a greens keeper at a golf course) There is absolutely nothing to do at work so I make use of my time picking up leaves for the first 4 hours and the second half of work I spend driving a mower cutting grass that really doesn't need to be cut. Finally 8 hours pass and my shift is over. I head home to find my house empty. My family has left for the weekend to visit my sister and to have thanksgiving dinner at their place. I would have went except I had to return to work on Monday again.So after I cry alone in a corner I shower and get dressed in my finest suit and head on over to my old friends wedding reception. Now I know you're thinking. You're going "Weddings are nice and fun and filled with friends! That so nice for you!" well maybe I left out on important detail, the man my friend was being wed to is not the man it was supposed to be. And the man it should of been to also happens to be my best friend. so I'm sure you can imagine the pain and anguish I held inside as I smiled and shook the hand of the bridegroom. I mean I was happy for my friend and all and I know that she made the right choice and that I know she is truly happy, but I was in a grumpy mood to start off with and whining and grumbling made me feel better. He was just no Brent thats all!

Sunday October 9, 2011

The Dinner

My cousins conveniently live next door to me so they graciously invited me over for supper. Sure their family would be there and I have never met them but I could deal with that... at least I thought I could. my cousin went into labour Saturday night and thus had to skip the dinner and stay in the hospital. but the show went on in their absence. So now I was down two people that I actually knew. What i was left with to socialize with was my aunt and uncle who didn't know the family either, and Jackson. he was my only real good friend there...he's also 2. And to make everything worse the party is moved to my house because we had more room for more people. so i had no where I could go and hide any more. So I was stuck having to find a place in my own house to sit down. I end up with the head of the table and on the other side is some dinosaur aged man. I introduced myself pleasantly trying to make nice and be sociable "Hi I'm Reid Walters!" to which the old man replied "Which hudderite colony did you escape from?" I decided after that to not communicate with the old man. Jackson was much better company as he chewed his chicken and then spat it up back onto his plate, then he'd move on to the next course, stuffing, then potatoes and his corn. I think the only thing he actually ate was the sparkling apple juice I slipped him under the high chair's table. "How old is the hudderite?"

the great great great grandpa yelled over the table. How old are YOU? I wanted to ask but I didn't want to cause the old man a heart attack as he realized he was over 1000 years old. So I just answered his question and then went immediately back to my food to fill my mouth to avoid talking some more. Pretty soon dinner was over and I was left all alone in my house again. The silence was glorious!

Monday October 10, 2011

I woke up for work Strangely cheerful and awake. Arrive at work and address my boss with a whole hearted "G'Morning!" he shook his head as he walked towards me and gathered his thoughts. "I don't know what to say Reid, I'm so sorry!" he said in his thick English accent "I had no idea that today was a holiday! you don't have to stay here! I'm sorry I made you get up." Well at this point nothing surprised me. I got back in my car and drove home and once again I went to my corner to cry. This just wasn't my weekend I guess. So here I am Wishing everyone a better Thanksgiving than me. And hopefully your attitude is a whole lot better than mine! I do have lots to be grateful for. Like I am so grateful that not every weekend is like this one and I'm grateful for my family returning home! I miss them more than I thought I ever would!

Connect The Dots

You know how people say "Its the little things that matter most"

Well there is this certain girl I know, some of you might know who I'm talking about.

Needless to say she is absolutely fantastic!

She takes this motto or saying and puts it to shame!

I don't think anyone expects what she would do!

One day she came over to return something of mine

I soon discovered that she had hidden a little some something with it.

in my hand I held a zip-lock bag full of what appeared to be paper dots.

I was very confused!

Then after closer inspection I noticed that the dots had writing on them,

some with words and others with numbers.

I cleared a space on my bedroom floor, opened the bag and emptied the contents.

Turns out the dots had both words AND numbers!

numbers on one side words on the other, and to my horror I realized what would ensue!

So long story short, after about half an hour and 100 paper dots later,

I had all the dots in order on my floor

I took a deep sigh of relief, regretting it immediately as all the dots were scattered.

Round two.

While holding my breath this time I read the note made of dots.

My eyes puked tears as the emotion welled up within my soul!

I'd tell you what it said but I don't have an extra hour right now to put the dots back in order!

But it doesn't even matter what the words were,

What was so amazing about this note was that she took the time to make me a special note,

and to let me know how much she cared!

She's so sweet and the absolute best!!

And I love all the small things she did to make me happy!

"Its the little things that matter most"

Story of a Lonely Guy

I'm gunna be straight with you here... I feel pretty lugubrious right about now! For the dull minded out there, that basically means down in the dumps. Now before you quit reading this on account that you may think I'm going to go out on another self pity rant I'd like to tell you why exactly I'm feeling so low.

Have you ever lost some one you love? Had to say goodbye to a person who made you feel exceptional, got you to see yourself for who you truly are? You try so hard to stay with that loved one and be the best 'you' that you can be and sometimes we stumble or we lose our way. We easily forget what we were fighting for. other times we are able to succeed and are able to achieve our best. Yet every time we lose that person every time we are forced to say goodbye we want to quit. To give up. We get the feeling that we're just not good enough and are seemingly unable to move forward. When we feel this way, we often lose purpose. We feel useless and abandoned, cold and alone, black and empty...

But some times we get lucky. Eventually after we have mourned our loss we come to reason and we see the light at the end of the tunnel. Motivation springs hope into our dismal lives through the absence of them that we miss. The need to do better as to not let them down fuels our recovery. Of course we miss them, we miss them terribly however we know everything will work itself out. The sun will always rise no matter how black the night is. Hold on to that faith and finish. This is some thing I still have to learn and I encourage you to do likewise. For some it may take longer and it may take a few more reminders for others but eventually we all see it...

The Light at the End of the Tunnel.

Country Strong

Country music is a funny thing. I don't think I know of anything else that is so entirely hated by so many people. And then at the same time loved by so many others. Its never "Ya I can stand it I guess." or "I don't really like it" its always "I HATE COUNTRY MUSIC." Well I'm here to tell you that I LOVE IT! I'm sure I am losing friends right now just by saying it but I have got nothing to hide. Music to me is everything. Music powers my body, its what gets me through life, what keeps me going. The music on the radio, the mainstream music, caters to many peoples needs. its the party songs that make people have fun and sing along. Well lately I've been told that I am strange and weird. Its true. And its a good thing because I'm not like everyone else. the mainstream music is good, but the music that has real purpose, real feelings, and real meaning is the best. Artist like Jimmy Eat World, Wakey!Wakey!, The Spill Canvas, Sarah McLachlan (that ones for Weston), Yellowcard they are all great musicians that play music that is amazing but also has more purpose to it other than becoming number 1 on the charts and being played out of speakers in clubs everywhere. Their words mean something special to some one. their chords are chosen not by how cool the sound is but to fit the mood. which brings me back to my main point. Country is an amazing genre. It plays music that you can relate to the hard times in life. it can match your best times. It gets you wanting to jump up and grab a girl and go prancing around the room in your boots and cowboy hat. And as goofy as some of the songs are, they are all so real! Rascal Flatts didn't write the song 'What Hurts The Most' because they thought it'd get them chicks! which however I'm sure it did, but they probably wrote it because they had had a similar experience! One time a buddy and I got stranded on an island so to speak. We had a great talk about how awesome country songs are! And I'll tell ya, sitting there on the beach of the God forsaken island listening as my friend sang to me a country song about the good stuff in life, I thought to myself. This right here, this is the good stuff. These are the days I'm going to look back on and say how much I miss it. How much fun we had growing up in that hick town of Taber. Doing whatever we wanted and having a real good time doing it! Memories like that are what country songs are made of. All the good times, all the laughs. All the hard times and the tears that come with them. And all the times you messed up, but it didn't stop you from keep moving on. Country songs have a deeper meaning to them, meanings that we can all relate to. I want you all, whoever reads this, to find a memory of your past. Something you might be going through now, or maybe a good time from long ago. Take that part of your life and go find yourself a country song that is about the same thing. I know for a fact that there will be a song written about whatever it was you chose, and I can bet that you will like that song!

Here is mine, Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dtfBxUTXRY&ob=av3n

Two More Years

Today I have to say goodbye to my best friend

for two years.

I honestly can't picture my life without him 

because he has been there for 11 years.

He is my brother.

My wingman.

My best friend.

The two of us partied hard! 

We knew what was up!

 For the next two years he's outta here.

and its going to be hard.

I know I'll be busy living my own life and serving my own mission

but no one realizes how bad I wish that I could be going with him.

I'm going to miss him

I already do.

He was my bro.

My hommie.

My main man.

The people out in Vancouver have NO idea how lucky they are!

See you in two Elder 

The Birth and Death of the Day

What goes through your mind,

before you go to bed?

Is it memories?

The nights spent with friends,

Do you relive it all? 

Do you hold on to every good moment

keep it safe

locked in a box in the top of your closet...

As you lie there,

Thinking,

Wishing,

that all your past mistakes could have gone better.

You start to play pretend in your mind,

make up a new scenarios,

where you are the hero,

and you get the girl.

You know exactly what to say,

How to react,

and how to make it all better.

You know what to the next time you see her,

you know that instead of just ignoring him,

you are going to just smile and fight through the conflict.

Your going to wave to someone you do not know.

You will take a risk. 

Do something out of the ordinary for a change.

That,

That is what runs through my head at night.

Those are my very thought before I shut my eyes.

Dreaming and hoping for a better tomorrow.

A brighter future full of excitement.

I know I'll do it all again the next night,

and that some of the things I planned won't follow through.

But there is always tomorrow,

and there is always today.

No Better

I've made a friend a few months ago who has really climbed the ladder of friends in my life. She's up there with the great ones! This girl just makes my day, heck she makes my life and yet some how I managed to make it through almost twenty years of it with out knowing her! The things we talk about, the conversations we have cannot be beat! We've spent so many nights sitting in one another's passenger seat till the early hours of the morning. A couple of times I've gone with no sleep, heading straight to work and then working eight hours, going home, have a shower, get ready, head to the party, drive with my friend, and do it all over again! I LOVE IT! I LOVE HER!!! When I talk to her, I hold nothing back. I let everything out, all my problems, all my triumphs, all my stories. I've told her of some of the hardest times in my life, things I don't even talk to my parents about. Things I've never told anyone else, things that I thought no one would care about. But she does care, and that makes her special. She is an angel mixed in with rest of us humans. How heaven let her go is beyond me! She's definitely a diamond in the rough! I'm so lucky to have her in my life now! I hope she knows how important she is to me, and I hope she'll always stay a part of my life, I never want to lose her. 

Now there will always be that top shelf that is reserved for those I've know and been with since those early exciting days in elementary school, or those horribly awkward days in middle school, or the glorious days of our high school years. Through thick and thin, the good summer days, and the worst of those cold December nights. Those friends are and always will be cherished in my heart.  Like my best friend Weston:

No one beats him as a friend. There are just no words to describe our friendship! I honestly couldn't ask for a better friend. He will always be a brother to me in my heart! 

Then there is my little sister Kate:

She's not really my sister but thats how good of friends we are! I just know she's going to love me for using this picture of her. I stole it from the internet. Anyways, Kate is amazing! I love love love her! We had this falling out of sorts where we never really ever saw each other, then one day a few years later she came home from school for the summer and I went to visit her, like I said after years of never hanging out. it was like not a day had passed! We still cuddled on her bed, talking for hours about our terribly exciting love lives! (Thats sarcasm if you didn't catch that! (paige) )

I have this one friend who is like non other! Her name is Jessica:

DAAANGGGG!!! Talk about sexy model babe! I wish with all my heart that I could say that this is my girlfriend but sadly no... She's better than a girlfriend! She is the bestest best friend in the whole wide world! Me and her have done a whole lot together and we've grown pretty close over the past few years! Can't wait till she moves into town so we can start hanging out again!!  

I love all my friends, and i love them for the examples they are to me. I'm so thankful for the impact each and everyone of them has on my life! I keep making new friends and I'm still going on new adventures. I hope the good times keep rolling and I pray that the bad times know who they are dealing with! 

Punk Rock Princess

Craziest thing happened! So I was reading my old blog I made back in grade 9 web design class. one of my posts had this picture on it, and I'd been thinking of something to write about. I was listening to jango radio (jango.com) and 'Punk Rock Princess' came on, and as some of you may have figured out I name all my posts with song titles. So fate decided, I was to write about my fantasy princess! 

This was the picture on my old blog. It made me remember how obsessed I was with emo girls back then, and how obsessed I still am! Not for the depression and the freaky things they do, but for their style! I've always loved the clothes the punks wear! 

Its like they just don't care about the world! 

They do what they want. 

They are an unstoppable force,

 A band of superheroes on skateboards, 

Wearing skinny jeans and vans shoes. 

Writing  messages on their bodies in permanent markers, 

Trying desperately to get people to notice. 

Crying out to the world hoping some one will hear their violent screams. 

See the wasted tears they shed. 

Feel the hurt that we all feel...

I LOVE THEM!!!!! I honestly cant explain it! There is just something about them that moves me! The problem is there are none here! Well actually there probably are but I haven't found them yet! So I told myself that if I ever met a girl with the extreme hair style, and the out fit, I'd marry her! Well low and behold i found one! I remember the night well...

September 24,

It was the weekend,

I didn't have work which just meant party all night.

My good friend Brent told me of a party going down in Lethbrige.

White out party,

We hit it up,

She's there,

Pink hair,

Wild,

...

..

.

I chicken out,

She's talking to another boy,

I cry the whole night.

Ok maybe I didn't cry but I was upset! A missed opportunity. I forever lost my Punk Rock Princess. I have never seen her since that night...

But I continue to fantasize about finding the right one. She's out there somewhere, riding on her longboard, listening to the music loud in her head phones, we will both get married and go deaf at an early age, its cute tho because that will be our thing. 

Where are you Princess? 

Don't be sad,

Wipe those tears away,

I'm out here too

Riding the concrete sea

Hurting,

Feeling,

Crying...

Too Beautiful

In each others arms, 

Embracing as they say their goodbye,

They Linger,

They breathe deeply, 

He steps back and looks into her eyes,

She traces his lips with the tips of her fingers,

He leans in close, 

Their lips almost touch,

"Goodbye..."

She walks away...

He runs after her and catches her arm,

"Wait!..."

He whispers as he pulls her around to face him. 

He raises his hand and holds her face in his palm, 

Gently tucking her loose hairs back into place. 

He looks deep into her eternal eyes once again.

"I'm sorry," He says in a hushed voice 

"you're just too beautiful for me to let you walk away out of my life forever."

She leans into his hand and he cradles her face,

She whispers,

"Im yours..."

He lifts her up, 

She wraps her legs around him,

They kiss...

They kiss with passion,

He crushes his lips into hers again and again.

She pulls away with a half smile, 

She sighs,

He kisses her forehead and asks her what is wrong,

She says "I just don't want to leave you!"

He says,

"Stay with me forever..."

Co-written By:

Sarah E. Nickle

&

Reid R. K. Walters 

What Is Love?

           

I asked a good friend of mine what she thought Love was...

Love...

Is Special.

Its a Gift.

In A Word, Love is Charity.

Its Respect and Compassion

Its Passion...

Its Something Special and Precious

A Gift We All Get and Give...

Kick, Push

I have found the new love of my life! 

Her name is "Long Boarding"

Hard Love

We humans are funny creatures. 

We are constantly complaining. 

Never happy with what lies in front of us.

Then when we reminisce, 

We wish we could travel back,

Through time and space back to the way things were. 

Back to the things we once looked down upon, 

And wish so hard we could have it all back.

I was speaking with a friend,

Talking about the "Good old days"

When we were younger and made a big deal out of nothing.

The teenage drama.

I miss it. 

But when we have it we tire of it.

Whine.

Grumble.

Why can't we be happy with our lives?

Is it so hard?

When we grow old and some day die,

Will we look down from heaven and regret our sour behavior?

Even then will we wish for a redo?

We should live each day with that in mind,

What will we think years down the road?

Will we be proud of the life we've lived thus far?

What can we do each day to make our lives worth while,

Perhaps a smile,

A phone call to a loved one,

A day spent with others,

Helping a stranger,

Taking a risk,

Going on an adventure.

 

Will you venture off your usual path of daily life enough to make a change?

To make your future as well as your present into one you will never regret.

What will you do?

What are you willing to change?

What will you risk?

A Movie Script Ending

What is it with movies that kisses make everything all better. Like a girl is so upset and frustrated with the boy and when he kisses her and looks in her eyes she forgets all the anger and kisses him back? If i were to go up to a girl right now and kiss her it would just be an awkward moment probably followed by a slap in the face. nothing productive comes from a swift kick in the pants I tell you that much. Other than maybe that that kick sets you in the right direction, away from the girl who obviously was having a fine day until you came and ruined it. Now don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against kisses in fact I encourage them (ahem... ladies) But what really gets my goat is the idea that a kiss can solve everything! How shallow of a world would this be if a kiss, which after being over used is just two individuals sucking each others face and basically tasting one another's spit, could solve the most tragic of all our problems. The movie ends with the kiss yes but life doesn't. what do you think happened too those two after the credits started playing? My guess is they were happy for a bit until they ended up fighting over which coffee shop to spend the next hour in then she didn't want to take the subway but he knows its the fastest way back to the apartment and the game is on and he's missing it and thats why she was mad at him in the first place because he doesn't pay enough attention to her. Oh but don't worry because they will both recognize they were both being ridiculous and kiss and make up.  See how lame that is? Makes me want to go punch Nick Cassavetes in the throat. Who? oh you know the director of 'The Notebook'. I've never seen the movie so I don't even know if they kiss in the end alls I know is that girls love it and people cry and it must mean there is a happy ending and as I stated before its not the kiss that makes it that way! If some of you are confused as to why I'm ranting so hard on this, I just got home from the movie mill. I watched 'Source Code' which I highly recommend to all you mystery, suspense, semi-action lovers. The movie was fantastic and I found the plot amazing! Similar to 'Groundhog Day' but not so much comedy or Bill Murray and it involves no hick town. Anyways in the end he kisses this girl and she is swept off her feet. Back to real life. I kiss this girl. We stop kissing. we both stand there awkwardly and... SLAP! There is no symphony of strings playing as the frame zooms out to display the beautiful city. No moment where we both smile at each other and go back at it until the fade out. Because there is no fade out. Life still goes on and usually with some pain in the cheeks. The ones on your face and figurative bum from the kick in the pants that follows  almost immediately after. Kisses are amazing and are special. they should be treated special and only used when they actually mean something. What I'm really getting at is I wish movies could have kisses that make me feel like what I'm doing is right. That when I kiss a girl and she doesn't look madly into my eyes with fierce passion that its still okay. That when I mess my line up that I've been practicing in my head and just waiting for the right moment to use it, I don't feel like a complete idiot. I mean when I get it right, ya it feels like the movies! But movies only last about two hours, which means I need to come up with a life times worth of one liners and I give props to the man who does that. I hope that what you get from this is don't expect your life to be like a movie. Accept the rough times. Feel alright about blowing you shot. Don't worry your life probably won't end within the next hour after that so you've got plenty of time to make up for it. A kiss won't fix everything, but it will make it better. 

All Eyes on Me

The stage is my kingdom

Under the lights I shine... literally! 

But also in the way that means I have done well in a situation. 

I feel most comfortable with myself when I'm performing

Partially because I feel most like myself on stage

Like the rest of my life off stage is the act. 

When I am given a part in a play I know exactly who I am. 

I become that person

I am that person.

When I play music I am no longer a person but a storyteller

Sharing the sad tales of those desperately in need of love, 

Of those whose loved ones have abandoned them, 

And those who still hold on to the things they cherish most in this world. 

I am not required to meet any expectations other than the ones I set for myself 

Thats when I truly become me. 

People will tell you that you can be who ever you want in this world 

But no matter how hard you try you can not avoid those who wish to shoot you down,

To persecute you and make you feel horrible. 

I have found a way that I can evade them. 

The stage, 

The lights, 

The audience sitting in silence enjoying the scene before them, 

The melody of notes flowing through the room. 

All eyes on me. 

That pressure, 

That challenge fuels the fire to my soul. 

Feeds me with the confidence I lack in all other aspects of my life. 

The praise and adoration at the commencement of each and every act 

Leaves me with the feeling of accomplishment and pride. 

I feel that I have made a difference  

Maybe somewhere out there some one was touched by what they had witnessed, 

Perhaps helped them find themselves the same way I found myself.

On stage, 

All eyes on me.   

Right Here Waiting

Beans...

I had a friend named Beans

This wasn't his real name of course

His parents were normal human beings 

His real name was Chris

Chris Yokoyama 

At times I still forget that that was his name

He had been Beans for a long time

I miss him

He died...

Two years and 115 days ago

Life has changed with out him 

I used to visit his grave out in Taber

Now since I've moved away I miss those visits

Back when I'd visit his grave

I would write a note and stick it in the 

Pocket of a CD case some one left for him

Every time I went out I'd switch the note 

With a new one

Now the notes stay here with me

I can hardly wait until the day I get to see my old friend again

The day I can talk with him and feel his love for me

Just like our favorite song we used to listen to 

I'm Right Here Waiting...

 

Looking Up

Come What May and Love It...

Its times like these when I break open the box of memories... 

re read the past... 

Feel the same emotions that I felt then...

Feel the same love... 

Excitement... 

The same hurt... 

Confusion... 

Lose... 

And hope... 

Remembering every moment in between then and now... 

Re living my own history... 

My memories... 

I await the future... 

For the new adventures it will bring... 

What will the world hold in store for me?... 

Will I be surprised with what I find?... 

Will I accept it... 

Come What May and Love It... 

When It Rains

April Showers Bring May Flowers....but what the Heck does the March snow bring?! 

If we have to have crappy weather can't we at least have rain? Rain I actually LOVE! With rain you can at least go out and not have to worry about never coming back alive! I stepped outside to shovel the walk the other day and within the first thirty seconds my ears about fell off, where as I can play in the rain for hours! I don't think I've ever had a bad experience with rain, Ever! So next year I know what I'm asking for for Christmas. A shorter winter. 

P.S. who ever wrote the song 'Rain, Rain Go away' Obviously never spent a winter in Canada.

Here in Your Arms

Ever have one of those days when it seems that everything in your life has been building up like a towering stack of moving boxes? Each one labeled to specific destinations, and you've been doing alot of work all over the place. Well ironically i am moving so there are a lot of figurative and real moving boxes in my house building up. some times you get too much going on at one time and today was one of those day when the stack toppled over. Now i like to fancy myself one of those guys who if pretty calm and chill with this kind of thing but, AAAAHHHH!!!! When I walk into my house the stress and chaos is so thick it clouds the room. now its not just the moving thats filling up my life. I'm in a band who at the moment is recording our first CD. We also have a show tomorrow night and another the next week. So the band is a priority but at the same time so is my families move. I also have a girlfriend as i've told you before. well what i didn't tell you is she lives 127 km, 1 hr and 36 mins. if you drive the speed limit that is. if you drive as fast as i do you can make it in about an hour. Well my girlfriend is a priority as well. i don't get to see her very often so when i'm away from her she is almost always on my mind. i got to talk to her today on the phone and i got to read her amazing blog about yours truly! that time was the best part of my day. I love music and I love my band. I most definitely love my family and i love moving because it brings me just that much closer to my girlfriend, but the work part in both of these things is what is killing me. I can tend to be lazy when i want to be! Anyways so today when my world came crashing down around me in a jumbled heap of ... well for a lack of a better word crap-ola,  all I could do to keep from having my insides become my outsides was picture myself in my favorite place in this crazy world, which if you haven't guessed already is in the arms of this simply wonderful girl of mine. Bailey. I feel better just saying it. Bailey , Bailey Bailey! I miss her quite a lot when I don't get to see her for long periods of time, some of which are my own fault I admit, but I'm trying to fix it. 

Do you ever have one of those days when it seems that everything in your life has been building up like a stack of moving boxes? Let me give you some advice. Picture the place you love most in this world, can you see it? Are you there? Who is with you? Are you happy? Good, now take five seconds and just breathe. I was told that with just five breaths you can change where you are in life. So its up to you. Take a breath....1.....2....3...4.....5.... Are you there? Are you happy?